The Christmas break does my head in. I end up in a fuzzy cotton wool state, feeling a little muffled, waiting for life to start again. And it has and I feel full of the space of a new year.
So before it all gets left behind, this is what’s been on my mind. (Go straight to the last paragraph if you just want a laugh!)
I had a Bad Blog Day in the week leading up to Christmas and it triggered a whole host of thoughts and stuff that is just going to come out here in a not fully connected way. I read someone’s blog who I’ve been following for awhile and contributing to regularly. Something on it struck a really off-note for me, I felt the person’s unhappiness and discomfort was potentially possibly caused at least partly by me, and I felt a horrible mixture of guilt, shame, culpability – about landing stuff on people through their blogs. It turns out I read the entry completely the wrong way and it was nothing to do with me after all, but it did give me pause for thought.
First, it made me think about myself and my ego. What had made me think this comment on someone else’s blog was relevant to me at all? Really it was all about My Ego – a whole host of archetypes rose to greet me, like a deck of tarot cards, me as errant Knight, me as Warrior, me as Caretaker…, me as Me.
And then, when I was in the midst of an e-mail exchange with a friend a day later and he wrote a slightly snide, jokey comment about why one of my clients had suddenly been struck ill in a team meeting which I was observing, I wrote back hotly protesting ‘it was nothing to do with me!’ to which he said ‘what made you think I meant it was to do with you?’ Ego again! The repetition of the message was like a gentle rap on the knuckles thundering in my ears and telling me just to get a grip – or do I mean let go? – and not be so very sure the world revolves around me all the time!
I also thought how strange it is at this time in our society to be getting to know people through the internet and through their blogs. There are some amazing blogs out there – visual and lyrical triumphs. But even if you read them regularly and comment and maybe even have some form of dialogue, surely this is not about getting to know the person behind the blog. Or is it?
They say things come in threes and for whatever reasons Loreena McKennit was being pushed into my consciousness by influences around me. A Canadian Celtic singer, I’ve liked her music in a kind of unfocused way for a long while. Her music is often used for circle dancing and I do think it’s wonderful for this purpose. During the HearthMusic week she was mentioned as someone who performs in people’s homes, and then I was minded to look up her music again, and saw her new cd the name of which I loved, The Wind that Shakes the Barley. I listened to some of the music and decided to buy it; and then hours later Viv posted a blog with Loreena McKennit’s haunting version of the Holly and Ivy on it for Christmas day. I felt I really must learn a little more about her.
The internet is most useful for such a quest and I ended up reading about a court case which she had launched in England against an ex-friend of hers who had published a biography about her. Essentially the case ended up being a conflict between the author’s Freedom of Speech and the subject’s Right to Privacy – and interestingly, in this age of celebrity, Right to Privacy won out. Having read a bit about it, I felt intuitively that in this case Right to Privacy might be the right winner; but the problem with law of course is that it sets precedents. But in the end I’m not very interested in the specific case.
What suddenly hit me was how horrible it must be to be in the public eye – and especially in this age of social media and blogs when we can all be to a greater or lesser extent ‘in the public eye’. And is the act of blogging partly a conscious or unconscious striving to be in the public eye? And is that why some people are so snooty and critical of it?
Why do some of us blog and others of us not just not blog but disdain blogs? I call these latter ‘Blog Snobs’. I keep finding they are my oldest and dearest friends! – which can be just a little unsettling! Another lunchtime conversation over the Christmas holidays where blogging was termed self-indulgence and the implication was most of it was meaningless dull drivel, the refuse of people’s lives being displayed for all to see in some kind of bid for self-importance.
There are a couple of blogs I read in a very desultory way which have started to really annoy me. I feel the authors are self-publicists, keen to be in the public eye; and their blogs are really all about personal publicity or self-marketing. One parades under the guise of self-drama, entertainment and making difficult stuff accessible to you and me. The other is quite honest about its aims but, to my ear, can sometimes veer towards a tinge of self-righteousness or preachiness. I am fascinated by these blogs in a kind of sterile way, curious about the writers’ motives, and ultimately untouched by them.
I have found starting to write my blog in the middle of 2010, initially as part of a Community Development project and ostensibly to support some Action Learning sets I facilitate, is one of the most energising recent developments in my life. I feel free to write about what interests me, holds my attention, stirs my spirit, and I capture themes that would otherwise drift through my mind and vanish in the ether. I love the comments people make and I feel I’ve learned a lot as well as made some friends.
I am fascinated by what blogging offers – the strange combination of excitement, tingling at the prospect of connection and surprise offered through comments on a post (who might appear? who might say what? who is this unknown person?!) and discomfort at the sense of exposure and vulnerability (what will they think? how much should I say? what is best left unwritten?). I guess this is what the internet allows and invites. It is like being on a kind of knife edge, it is not comfortable. It keeps me in motion and on my toes.
Writing my blog has also made me more sensitive to how others are on (and off) their blogs. I feel that blogs may reduce, possibly to one-dimensionality, who we are. So if I am the kind of person who feels it’s important to respond to others and make a connection through a comment, I think I can become a kind of Pollyanna version of that on my blog – when in real life I’m a lot more discerning than that.
Maybe people get to know a bit of me because I respond to them on their and my blogs. So how about the non-responding blogger? The one who is taciturn to the point of silence. What does a lack of acknowledgement of their commenters mean? Could they care less? Are they careless? Does it say anything at all about how they are with people ‘in real life’?
Is blogging ‘real life’? It is for me – but then I’ve always had an over-active imagination. And sometimes I feel the connections I’ve made in the ether are at least as compelling as those I make on the street, in a pub, in a front room. They are clear of the clutter, all the dross in daily communication which both gives it flesh and bones but also blurs the issues, makes relationships messy.
Enough about blogs.
I think all these ponderings are really the result of what Christmas and this time of year has done to my head. There’s lots of socialising which is enjoyable but also lots of available time, and people aren’t around, aren’t responding as they do for much of the rest of the year, in person or virtually. This is freeing and also destabilising.
I had an extraordinarily vivid dream in those Bad Blog Days leading up to Christmas about a yoga teacher who I thought I was going to work with but who just disappeared literally – into the ether. He didn’t answer my last two e-mails, he had a fairly significant health problem but had suggested we meet but – nothing! I would like to say it doesn’t matter, but it disturbs my spirit from time to time and disrupts my dreams.
In my recent dream I went to his house for a yoga lesson which had been pre-booked. I pulled up and there was a brown dirt car park, I thought I’ve been here before. I parked and went in, it was quite a large house and I found myself in a kind of studio area. He was in there wearing a green shirt and looking a little more relaxed, healthier than I remember him. He was surprised to see me but said to stay, I checked and he said it would really be better if we rescheduled. A lot of people were turning up for a class so I decided to stay for the class. It was ok, but I felt that I hadn’t practised yoga for awhile and I seemed to be doing everything backwards (eg everyone was raising the right arm, I raised the left, etc). Then he disappeared and I was in the house waiting (for what?). I started to explore and found a bedroom, also decorated in green, with old-fashioned furniture and a green brocade covered dressing table chair. I knew that I had stayed in this room the last time I was there. I wanted to get out fast because I knew I was invading the space of someone else’s bedroom. There were various people in the house, quite a few young women who looked like students, and a couple slightly older men (mature students?). I had the impression the women were more sociable and younger, the men more introverted and on their own. I found a corridor with large windows for walls and realised the house was in Oxford, just off the ring road, and this part of the house looked out directly on to a student walkway within one of the colleges with lots of students passing by. I thought the house would have been cheap which is maybe why he bought it, and I reflected on the lack of privacy. There were a few cats around, I remembered he liked cats. I do too usually. One of the cats came running up to me and wanted to lick me or touch me, I noticed one of its eyes was very red and that it had some sort of infection so I didn’t want to make close contact. I then had an urgent need to visit the toilet but had an accident on the way as I somehow mistook the sofa for the toilet! – and the sofa was consequently slightly wet which I studiously covered up with a cushion.
What is this all about? Anything about anything welcomed!
And, if you’ve got this far, reading this post, you probably need a little light relief.
So before it all gets left behind, this is what’s been on my mind. (Go straight to the last paragraph if you just want a laugh!)
I had a Bad Blog Day in the week leading up to Christmas and it triggered a whole host of thoughts and stuff that is just going to come out here in a not fully connected way. I read someone’s blog who I’ve been following for awhile and contributing to regularly. Something on it struck a really off-note for me, I felt the person’s unhappiness and discomfort was potentially possibly caused at least partly by me, and I felt a horrible mixture of guilt, shame, culpability – about landing stuff on people through their blogs. It turns out I read the entry completely the wrong way and it was nothing to do with me after all, but it did give me pause for thought.
First, it made me think about myself and my ego. What had made me think this comment on someone else’s blog was relevant to me at all? Really it was all about My Ego – a whole host of archetypes rose to greet me, like a deck of tarot cards, me as errant Knight, me as Warrior, me as Caretaker…, me as Me.
And then, when I was in the midst of an e-mail exchange with a friend a day later and he wrote a slightly snide, jokey comment about why one of my clients had suddenly been struck ill in a team meeting which I was observing, I wrote back hotly protesting ‘it was nothing to do with me!’ to which he said ‘what made you think I meant it was to do with you?’ Ego again! The repetition of the message was like a gentle rap on the knuckles thundering in my ears and telling me just to get a grip – or do I mean let go? – and not be so very sure the world revolves around me all the time!
I also thought how strange it is at this time in our society to be getting to know people through the internet and through their blogs. There are some amazing blogs out there – visual and lyrical triumphs. But even if you read them regularly and comment and maybe even have some form of dialogue, surely this is not about getting to know the person behind the blog. Or is it?
They say things come in threes and for whatever reasons Loreena McKennit was being pushed into my consciousness by influences around me. A Canadian Celtic singer, I’ve liked her music in a kind of unfocused way for a long while. Her music is often used for circle dancing and I do think it’s wonderful for this purpose. During the HearthMusic week she was mentioned as someone who performs in people’s homes, and then I was minded to look up her music again, and saw her new cd the name of which I loved, The Wind that Shakes the Barley. I listened to some of the music and decided to buy it; and then hours later Viv posted a blog with Loreena McKennit’s haunting version of the Holly and Ivy on it for Christmas day. I felt I really must learn a little more about her.
The internet is most useful for such a quest and I ended up reading about a court case which she had launched in England against an ex-friend of hers who had published a biography about her. Essentially the case ended up being a conflict between the author’s Freedom of Speech and the subject’s Right to Privacy – and interestingly, in this age of celebrity, Right to Privacy won out. Having read a bit about it, I felt intuitively that in this case Right to Privacy might be the right winner; but the problem with law of course is that it sets precedents. But in the end I’m not very interested in the specific case.
What suddenly hit me was how horrible it must be to be in the public eye – and especially in this age of social media and blogs when we can all be to a greater or lesser extent ‘in the public eye’. And is the act of blogging partly a conscious or unconscious striving to be in the public eye? And is that why some people are so snooty and critical of it?
Why do some of us blog and others of us not just not blog but disdain blogs? I call these latter ‘Blog Snobs’. I keep finding they are my oldest and dearest friends! – which can be just a little unsettling! Another lunchtime conversation over the Christmas holidays where blogging was termed self-indulgence and the implication was most of it was meaningless dull drivel, the refuse of people’s lives being displayed for all to see in some kind of bid for self-importance.
There are a couple of blogs I read in a very desultory way which have started to really annoy me. I feel the authors are self-publicists, keen to be in the public eye; and their blogs are really all about personal publicity or self-marketing. One parades under the guise of self-drama, entertainment and making difficult stuff accessible to you and me. The other is quite honest about its aims but, to my ear, can sometimes veer towards a tinge of self-righteousness or preachiness. I am fascinated by these blogs in a kind of sterile way, curious about the writers’ motives, and ultimately untouched by them.
I have found starting to write my blog in the middle of 2010, initially as part of a Community Development project and ostensibly to support some Action Learning sets I facilitate, is one of the most energising recent developments in my life. I feel free to write about what interests me, holds my attention, stirs my spirit, and I capture themes that would otherwise drift through my mind and vanish in the ether. I love the comments people make and I feel I’ve learned a lot as well as made some friends.
I am fascinated by what blogging offers – the strange combination of excitement, tingling at the prospect of connection and surprise offered through comments on a post (who might appear? who might say what? who is this unknown person?!) and discomfort at the sense of exposure and vulnerability (what will they think? how much should I say? what is best left unwritten?). I guess this is what the internet allows and invites. It is like being on a kind of knife edge, it is not comfortable. It keeps me in motion and on my toes.
Writing my blog has also made me more sensitive to how others are on (and off) their blogs. I feel that blogs may reduce, possibly to one-dimensionality, who we are. So if I am the kind of person who feels it’s important to respond to others and make a connection through a comment, I think I can become a kind of Pollyanna version of that on my blog – when in real life I’m a lot more discerning than that.
Maybe people get to know a bit of me because I respond to them on their and my blogs. So how about the non-responding blogger? The one who is taciturn to the point of silence. What does a lack of acknowledgement of their commenters mean? Could they care less? Are they careless? Does it say anything at all about how they are with people ‘in real life’?
Is blogging ‘real life’? It is for me – but then I’ve always had an over-active imagination. And sometimes I feel the connections I’ve made in the ether are at least as compelling as those I make on the street, in a pub, in a front room. They are clear of the clutter, all the dross in daily communication which both gives it flesh and bones but also blurs the issues, makes relationships messy.
Enough about blogs.
I think all these ponderings are really the result of what Christmas and this time of year has done to my head. There’s lots of socialising which is enjoyable but also lots of available time, and people aren’t around, aren’t responding as they do for much of the rest of the year, in person or virtually. This is freeing and also destabilising.
I had an extraordinarily vivid dream in those Bad Blog Days leading up to Christmas about a yoga teacher who I thought I was going to work with but who just disappeared literally – into the ether. He didn’t answer my last two e-mails, he had a fairly significant health problem but had suggested we meet but – nothing! I would like to say it doesn’t matter, but it disturbs my spirit from time to time and disrupts my dreams.
In my recent dream I went to his house for a yoga lesson which had been pre-booked. I pulled up and there was a brown dirt car park, I thought I’ve been here before. I parked and went in, it was quite a large house and I found myself in a kind of studio area. He was in there wearing a green shirt and looking a little more relaxed, healthier than I remember him. He was surprised to see me but said to stay, I checked and he said it would really be better if we rescheduled. A lot of people were turning up for a class so I decided to stay for the class. It was ok, but I felt that I hadn’t practised yoga for awhile and I seemed to be doing everything backwards (eg everyone was raising the right arm, I raised the left, etc). Then he disappeared and I was in the house waiting (for what?). I started to explore and found a bedroom, also decorated in green, with old-fashioned furniture and a green brocade covered dressing table chair. I knew that I had stayed in this room the last time I was there. I wanted to get out fast because I knew I was invading the space of someone else’s bedroom. There were various people in the house, quite a few young women who looked like students, and a couple slightly older men (mature students?). I had the impression the women were more sociable and younger, the men more introverted and on their own. I found a corridor with large windows for walls and realised the house was in Oxford, just off the ring road, and this part of the house looked out directly on to a student walkway within one of the colleges with lots of students passing by. I thought the house would have been cheap which is maybe why he bought it, and I reflected on the lack of privacy. There were a few cats around, I remembered he liked cats. I do too usually. One of the cats came running up to me and wanted to lick me or touch me, I noticed one of its eyes was very red and that it had some sort of infection so I didn’t want to make close contact. I then had an urgent need to visit the toilet but had an accident on the way as I somehow mistook the sofa for the toilet! – and the sofa was consequently slightly wet which I studiously covered up with a cushion.
What is this all about? Anything about anything welcomed!
And, if you’ve got this far, reading this post, you probably need a little light relief.
This one-minute cartoon, Yoga for Wine Lovers, might make you smile. And for those of you who like The Good Life, it just goes to show that A Yogi Need Not Do Without!
Yoga for Wine Lovers – http://www.haroldsplanet.com
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Subscribe to our free daily Harold’s Planet cartoon at http://www.haroldsplanet.com. Yoga For Wine Lovers – brought to you by http://www.haroldsplanet.com. Created by Lisa Swerling & Ralph Lazar. Animated by Norm…
00:01:16
Added on 11/07/2010
70,840 views
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Well House Words 
Dear Karin
I very much enjoy reading your blogs. I don’t really understand why people would suggest blogging to be self indulgent when it is such hard work to think carefully what to write and how. For the past 18 months I’ve been doing a Yoga Facebook page and have started tweeting and I’m thinking of starting a blog as well. Possibly the luddites of my acquaintance could be dismissive of me, but I guess I will probably not say too much to them. I find it scary at times sticking my head above the parapet but my reasons for doing these social networking things are mainly for community building. We do still need our friends in real time, in a real place, but these media create another dimension thats not to be dismissed.
Sending you courage – keep on blogging
Amanda 🙂
Hi Amanda, thanks for your message. I will keep blogging because I’m getting a lot out of it both personally in terms of my writing and in terms of the community elements as you say. For me, the commenting aspects of blogging (people’s comments on mine and mine on others’) is in a way the most important aspect, the dialogue, the glue.
I also remain ambivalent about blogging though and I don’t feel that’s a bad thing. As with anything perhaps, as you say, some people put a lot of thought, care and effort into their blogs – but not everyone does. And there are a lot of different motives, drivers, hoped-for outcomes etc. For me it’s the process and the experience and the learning along the way.
I always enjoy reading your newsletter and look forward to your blog if you decide to start one. Keep writing, reading and commenting!
Warm wishes,
Karin
Hi there
Please get Loreena McKennit for Hearthmusic – her albums are amazing!
Steve
Hi Steve,
I’m a little bit scared to follow up your suggestion but it’s a good one. Also I believe she requires her hosts to have pets which could limit the options slightly! Will bear it in mind, as you say her albums are amazing, I was just listening to one on the way home. Thanks for the idea,
Karin
Hi Karin,
I know just how you feel about what an extended break does to minds. I’m now keen to get back into my regular routine – that same old routine which was feeling rather boring and predictable in the run up to Christmas!
Hi Chris,
Actually I’m keen to leave the old routine firmly where it belongs – in last year – and am actively pursuing some new challenges and activities. Today included an interesting mix of Lambeth Palace, Luton Town, and a journey through the History of Modern Yoga! 2011 could be eclectic.
Karin
First of all, I enjoy your blog very much. It’s unselfconscious, and natural, and is honest.
I do know what you mean about worrying whether you’ve said or done something to upset someone; it’s one of my biggest worries. Currently I am worrying about this rather a lot(it’s complicated) but I also have a little mantra that gets me out of the downward spiral that ties me in knots. It goes like this: “It’s not all about YOU!” Because I live so much in my head, in both imagination and in psychic reaching out, I frequently have to step back and tell myself that I am NOT the centre of the known universe(because sometimes it feels like this), as well as remind myself that whatever scenarios I have constructed around events and people whom I love, usually using scraps of tattered “known facts” I can build something that is sometimes frighteningly close to or equally frightening, a million miles from reality. It’s a useful skill when it comes to piecing together fiction from a few tidbits of ideas, but not so good when it comes to improvising what is going on elsewhere. Case in point, I emailled a dear friend of mine a few weeks ago, and got a reply finally yesterday. All the reasons why he hadn’t responded to my email were wrong; in fact, he lost 5 members of his family in a recent bombing. I have to tell myself often enough that I am better asking than supposing!!!
Bloggers who never or very seldom respond to comments usually have me NOT returning to their blog, either very often or at all.
As for the dream, lots of thoughts but not ones I would go into here. Dream interpretation usually tells you more about the interpreter than the dream!
Hi Viv, yes, your mantra is a good one that I borrow sometimes. I think for those of us with well-developed extraverted Feeling (in the Jungian sense) especially if coupled with Intuition, then a hazard or part of our own shadow can be the risk of imagining what is happening for someone else, potentially involving or impacted by ourselves, with such vividness that it becomes our reality. For me this is made worse when contact with the other is intermittent or virtual.
It is so easy to surmise wrongly from someone else’s perceived behaviour. I always remember two stories on this theme – one is from Stephen Covey. As I recall, he was sitting next to someone on the tube and they were reading the newspaper while their children were running riot, and he was getting more and more frustrated about it. Then as he or they got up to leave, the person said something like My friend/wife (?) has just died today and we’re going to the funeral.’ Suddenly the whole experience was recast in a completely other light.
The other story always makes me smile. I think it’s called ‘The chocolate thief’ and it’s about someone who is sitting in those rows of attached chairs at an airport. They have a bag of chocolates next to them which they’ve opened, and suddenly the person next to them starts eating the chocolates one by one. They can’t quite believe this is happening and they get increasingly furious about this but they don’t say anything. Then when they get up to leave, they discover their own bag of chocolates is still there untouched!
In recounting these two stories two things come to mind – one is how much worse it is when I/the perceiver can attribute some reason to do with myself to the other person’s perceived wrongful or hurtful or strange behaviour (not relevant in either of the two above anecdotes). The other is how important it is to check things out especially when one is getting anxious, upset or angry – and neither party did this in the above anecdotes at least as I remember them. But also how hard it can be to check things out especially when it involves someone one has a genuine relationship with.
This is what happens when I read an interesting comment at the start of the day with a fresh uncluttered mind.
My last thought is remember your mantra when you consider offering welcome comments on elements such as my dream – thank you for being the only person so far to have dared to even mention it!
Karin x
I was going to say that if I’d had a dream like that I’d have made a note to take more water with it next time! But then thought perhaps I shouldn’t in case Karin thought I was being rude. So I’m leg-pulling, Karin, OK?
Absolutely ok, Chris – especially as I’m not 100% sure I understand the comment!! I can be incredibly thick sometimes….or too literal, as some people have told me.
Just for today – I endeavor to stay true to my purpose and who I am – in life and in writing. People are going to look at me/my writing through their filters over which I have no control. They may or may not end up with a valid view of me.
I can be paralyzed by concern about what others think or walk boldly in my truth and perception.
I chose the latter. When I’m hurt or broken, I’ve given the other person far too much power because I work hard to be honest about my motive and, therefore, output.
Now, dear Karin, may I have this same resolve on a day that I feel shattered! 🙂
Hello, this is spot on and so well put – your comments always are.
Yes, it is always so much harder to keep the resolve when tired. I have learned to just leave things to the next day and I know they/I will be better. Your comment about when you are hurt or broken, you’ve given the other person far too much power, is an interesting one and bears more thought. I was talking to a friend about things that get under your skin yesterday, and it is so useful to reflect on what gets under your skin, when and how and why. Writing this post has given me loads more insights about its specific subject matter than I had beforehand and your comment is part of that process. Thank you.
Re Loreena McKennit and pet ‘rider’
Rebecca’s house would be fine then!
Steve
Definitely, Steve, as would mine. I think Chris’ house would be the best of all with this requirement, but I’m not sure she and her friends would want to be hosts!! I was actually just thinking it’s hard enough to set up a tour with hosts in the first place, with the added requirement of hosts with pets it gets harder still….How about your house?!
I would not wish to be answerable for the mayhem that might (sorry – would) result from holding a musical event in my house. Four dogs, five cats and three parrots create enough music for me thank you. And we’d have the parrots imitating it all for weeks. Although that would be better than the time when they took a fancy to the sound of the cordless screwdriver after a visit from the builders.
As you say, Chris, I think it’s the parrots that are the ‘tipping point’. Rebecca has lively dogs and several cats and they all enjoyed the evening hugely. The bottom line is whether you/anyone want(s) to do it. It’s a great experience – as it happens, I had a complex and great dream last night about HearthMusic week 2!
Any would-be hosts out there, do get in touch.
No pets now I’m afraid, our amazing 20 year old cat completed her happy innings on a lovely sunny day just before all the cold weather started in November. Your words on such things just before Christmas struck a few chords with me as a result.
It’s amazing how the house isn’t quite the same without her – but a few pictures a helping a lot!
Looking forward to more good homely music sometime.
Steve
Hi Steve,
Sorry to hear about your cat and hope Cleo’s Tale was timely in a good way.
I feel hopeful that there will be more homely music and that we won’t have to wait too long. It’s great to have your enthusiasm and some of the others who are keen for the next concerts.
Karin
Ah! the dilemma of blogging. What constitutes a blog has interested me of late because I’ve just created a village web site and blog (www.rothersthorpe.info) and although the web site has been generally accepted the blog has caused a bit of a stir. OK I exaggerate on the last point because only one person has emailed me about its construction. I like the idea of having one person create a blog and then others comment on it but it can be a little restrictive particularly in terms of adding your own media (photos, music, video) – you can’t do it in comments (or at least I haven’t found a way) but you can when writing a blog. This is true of WordPress and also Blogger and yes I’ve tried both. So I’ve set the village blog up so that anyone going onto the blog site can write their own blog for others to comment on. Nobody has done so yet.
My own blog site is hardly used at all, least of all by my closest friends, partly because they don’t like using technology but mainly because if they’ve got something to say they pick up the phone or let me know when I see them. I’m quite envious of Karin’s blog and her success is largely due, I think, to the fact that she puts so much effort into responding to comments either with thanks or adding to the discourse. Well done Karin 😉
And finally where does twitter fit into all this?
Hi Steve,
I will have a look at your village website and blog because, due to a negative result on spacial awareness tests, I simply cannot get my mind around what you have created! I will try and comment if I have anything to say that is relevant or may be of interest to the purpose of that site.
Please do not be ‘envious’ of this blog or talk about ‘success’ – words I’m really uncomfortable with. I set up this blog for two purposes: to get me writing again (what I always loved doing and then stopped for many years) and to create dialogue between people as and when they felt like engaging, whether or not they knew/know each other, to stimulate thinking, ideas, understanding, to create a kind of community…..I have no idea where it’s going! That’s part of the interest and attraction for me. I only know I have learned, and continue to learn a lot both through my process of writing and from others’ comments and dialogue. I hope it continues to be a place where people connect in whatever way suits them. And I always find your comments make me think.
On Twitter – maybe others will comment. I just don’t get it. I have no need for instant updates or comments of such a short nature from others, nor would I be bothered to give them to others. Having said that, I did become fascinated for awhile by someone’s Twitter comments and actually felt their comments were very revealing of the person they may be. Everything we do gives us away.
All the best,
Karin
Hi Karin,
Finally got a chance to read your blog with full attention that it deserves. I am surprised, which isn’t surprising. I am easily suprised at a lot of stuff, I realise. To me, blog is a way of clearing the cobwebs from my mind. It helps me organize my thoughts. I can do it in my journal, but Robert Wright makes me understand why it is always much more powerful thru a blog. When we write our thoughts out for ourselves, we tend not to craft an argument logically, because we already know the outcome. But when we blog it, even though no one may read it, we still make an effort towards some semblence of flow and rhythm and connection between the disperate parts. To that effect, I think a blog coheres what is fragmented and disconnected within – various streams of consciousness, verious centres of subjectivity, various fragmented parts that were the outcome of not-so-perfect childhood. The flow that we strive to achieve is a striving for coherence, to overcome dissociation and fragmentation. See right now, I am writing things that must have existed in my unconscious, but those I did not consciously know until I started to respond to your post. Blogging, at least for me, is a pretty autonomous process. I never know what will come out when I start writing…. But I concede that others may have a different reason for blogging. But whatever the reason, there is an inner need that the author has. And I believe NO ONE has a right to deny , or make light of another individual’s inner need. To do so represents either a disconnection from the self, or rigid mental structures which consider other’s viewpoint, or perspective, or preferences unimportant and not worthy of self expression. I love the flower though .
As for silence on the blogs, I do not receieve much input, except from you. But I can see from stats that my blog is read pretty widely. Why people don’t want to write something – I don’t know. But its ok to honor their choices, I feel. But even if it was not read, I would still be ok. because I have figured out why I write. Whatever falls under the gaze of the (m)other, menifests and becomes conscious, everything else remains unconscious, just a potentiality or a probability. So its important to understand why you do what you do. And hold onto that purpose, and reason. The rest, as they say, is merely happenstance.
Keep writing. Keep expressing. If thats what you want to do.
As to why you react that way to someone else’s comment – thats an exploration which falls in the realm of depth psychology 🙂
Love.
M.
Hi Madhu
Your response doesn’t surprise me! But it does elucidate – and I want to follow up on Robert Wright on blogs, sounds interesting.
I like everything you say about blogging – I guess the odd thing about it is the public/private nature of it. I don’t know about you, but when I get some odd spam comments I feel uneasy about my blog being open to the world, which is feeling uneasy about me being open to the world. But then the other side of it is that I would not have connected with some great people if my blog were not open to the world. It is this interesting space to explore of what am I doing for me and for what reasons – what are the risks, what are the discoveries etc etc.
I think the last two or three sentences of your first paragraph are core, and reflections on those observations/beliefs, which I share, make me very thoughtful.
I love your blog and I just respond, also knowing there is a lot of it that passes me by. No idea why others don’t. Perhaps it challenges them.
Thanks for your ongoing support and I thought of you when I heard part of Obama’s speech the other day and what he said about healing and even more about hope!
Love
Karin
Karin,
Thanx for correcting the spelling in the name. I really apologise. This must show my aptitude for the traditional, and my inability to digest anything new!
Robert Wright is a psychoanalyst. His book “Vision and Separation” is my current bible. It was he who said whatever part of an infant falls in the vision of the (m)other, becomes organized and conscious. The rest remains dark, chaotic, unconscious. I extend that argument to any writing including the blogs. Whatever is read by the environmental mothers, leads to consciousness. I can feel it.
I believe for you a blog is a place to connect. For me, it is a place to be alone, a place of, and one that leads to inner silence. 🙂
Love.
M.
PS: I misspelt your name, again. Could you please change that, and delete it. I have tons of friends called Karen. Only one has an i …
Hi Madhu,
I am not sure if ‘en’ is more traditional than ‘in’ as ‘in’ stretches back in time both to Scandinavia and Eastern Europe/Russia – both relevant to my heritage. However, ‘en’ may be more traditional in terms of your own history of the name.
Your comment about blogs and consciousness is a little oblique but reminds me of a quotation from Jung that I cannot track down right now which is about the light of consciousness illuminating but a part of who we are and so much else remaining in the dark.
I like what you say about the ‘environmental mothers’, it is both surreal and strangely reassuring.
You are right – for me a blog is a place to connect, both with myself and with others. It is also a place of silence.
I now wonder if comments on your blog invade your space? I hope not.
Love
Karin
Hi Karin,
Perhaps you’re right about your name. Never seen it spelt that way before but then I;ve been in the West only little over a dozen years….
My blog is meditative – that is what I meant by being a place of silence and alone-ness. The comments come later. And they’re reflective, being less connection oriented ! At least thats what I perceive you there as, and respond accordingly. No, they do not invade my space at all. Comments challenge, and provide an opportunity to delve deeper into the original contents of the blog. They strengthen the content one way or the other….and I am thankful for that opportunity for further exploration……here and there…
Hi Madhu,
re my name I answer to many variations, in both writing and aloud, including ‘Karim’ from some people about whose origins I’ve always been intrigued…
Your comment made me think that, for me, reflections are connections. And also that there are so many levels and kinds of connections – ranging from the very Extravert and surface type to the very deep Introvert. For me the strongest external connections are with another’s reflections which may develop my internal reflections and connections…..
Hi Karin,
Karim is a Muslim name….
Your comment gives a different meaning to your earlier statements about connection…
🙂
M.
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